Going one step further than Hilary Clinton

I hereby declare my victory in the 2008 Presidential election. Given I was not nominated by a party, not officially put on any ballot, nor was I voted for by any eligible voter. Furthermore, I received no delegates in the primary process, and have lost by a wide margin in the popular vote. I consider this last statement to be my mandate, solid proof of the American people Demanding my leadership. Lastly, I am not even eligible to be president, a presidential candidate, or even a fundraiser for a presidential candidate.

However, by me being in dead last for the entirety of the presidential race, it is clear to me that I have already won the race.

I would first off like to thank the American people. Mostly for voting for a different type of candidate in one of our countries darkest hours. I am a candidate that was able to somehow convince people I am a different type of politician. I do not come from an affluent background, I did not attend an Ivy league Law school, I did not marry into the political game. Professionally I have never been named influential, successful or even prompt. I have never served as an elected official in public office, and therefore I will be effective and disinterested .

Lastly since I did not raise any money for my highly victorious, and legal, campaign I was not purchased by individuals, organizations, corporations, causes, or middle eastern countries. Saudi Arabia did not give me 10 million dollars. United Arab Emirates did not give me 10 million dollars. The Azerbaijani Royal Family did not give me 10 million dollars. I have not received any money from land developers, lawyers, law firms, nor have I received from any of their family members or children.

In short, because of on an overwhelming electorate opinion, and the highest voter turn out in decades it is clear that I have lost the race by a wide margin. Therefore I will see you at the West Front of the U.S. Capital in January at around noon..