The green movement is actually yellow.

I am all for a better environment, but these green people that think they are a movement are just cowards. Look at their stances, everything they advocate is readily available, and marginally more expensive than policies and procedures in use today.

Many of these ‘green’ websites advocate small changes to ones life to save money, and the world at the same time. Others recommend small changes that make life more convenient. So one can assume the biggest attraction to any change in life is a bigger pocket book or a generally simpler existence. On the apparent official site of the greens (greenparty.org) there are ten standards listed, each one more convoluted and broad than the previous.

1) Grassroots democracy. The idea is simple, make the local government work for you. Make the state government work for the local government, and the federal government work for the states. This was actually a large movement early in the history of these states united. Remember those guys? Here is a hint, they loved slavery, printed there own money, and spoke with a gentlemen’s drawl. Yes, the confederates, the southerners, the uneducated, the bigots, and the list goes on. However, I think it is mostly coincidental.
There is a point to all that though, decentralizing the government would disintegrate things like the EPA, Board of education, Civil rights, Labor unions, the Justice department etc. There are pessimists out there that would say good, and optimists that would say nothing that bad would happen. Let them dream, while us realists remember that where there is power there is money, and where there is money there is rich white men with big veiny dicks. While I don’t want to ruin your utopia before it starts, I don’t want to get slapped in the face with one of those things, again….

Democracy is a form of government, its goal is to govern => rule over you. The general idea is that you should not have that much power. For a simple reason too; the day you are born you are just as likely to be a child rapist as you are to be a rapped child, or a politician, or a union boss, or a crack head, or a doctor, or retarded. With all these potential crack head doctors and rapped politicians running around the governance of union bosses and retarded people might take a back burner to total chaos.

The more I think about it, the worse things get. There is a place called Africa, you may have heard of it. By all estimations they have very strong local governments, and very ineffective, corrupt, federal ones. They also have a political phenomenon called the warlord. A warlord is a well educated, somewhat inspiring, person that relates very well with working class people. These warlords are the ones that cause tribal distress, famine, epidemics, and other forms of African misery.

Did you notice I described me a little bit ago? Not the slavery loving counterfeiter with a cool accent, and a definite ‘no’ to the child rapist, but the warlord thing. I seriously think the only thing stopping me from being a warlord is my inability to secure a large amount of automatic weapons, a semi-used blood bank, and water purification system (and I work for the government). As it turns out the only thing stopping me from getting those things is an effective green party. Thanks green party, for being as ineffective as you are cowardly.

(See, everything that is yellow is a coward)

(writers note: I originally meant to make 10 points about how the green party is ridiculous, but I got side tracked in something that was more fun. Thanks for sharing the ride, tune in for more.)

How to start world war III

See if you can follow along.

NPR is reporting that the Pentagons budget will reach an all time high of 515 Billion dollars, this will not include the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Adding in this amount will bring the total spending power of the Pentagon to roughly 750 Billion Dollars, or 25% of total U.S. expenditures. If the Pentagon was its own country it would be the 10th richest in the world, just above Australia.

The three senators involved in the presidential nomination process approved this figure. One cannot win an election by funding a war, however one can certainly loose one by under funding it. Lets just hope they have money left over this year for fucking body armor.

This comes as Reuters is reporting that the top U.S. Commander in the Mid-East resigned. This comes as a forced move after an article was published stating that Bush has the intention to push to war with Iran, and Adm. Fallon categorically disagrees with said plan. The U.S. Military has lost one third of its top ranking brass in similar situations over the past eight years.

John McCain has made no secret about his intensions with Iran: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-zoPgv_nYg


Exit polls conducted on March eleventh, 2008 by CNN suggested that mobile democratic voters were in fact split; perhaps the party broken. 55% of Obama voters stated they would never vote for Clinton in a general election. 67% of Clinton Voters would never vote for Obama in a general election.


One can assume that the next President of the United states will no longer be me. In fact it will be John McCain. Furthermore, a plan is already in the works to drop diplomacy with Iran, and retaliate with force. McCain will make a seamless transition to this plan.

If one examines the circumstances of the Soviet-Affghan war of 1979-1989, one will see similarities to our situation. Mainly being that The Soviet super power collapsed due to funding issues involving this war.

Even now American economists are predicting the two front war we are currently engaged in can only be sustained for nine more years. Adding that another front would effectively make defense spending over one trillion dollars, in a recessed shrinking economy.

Going one step further than Hilary Clinton

I hereby declare my victory in the 2008 Presidential election. Given I was not nominated by a party, not officially put on any ballot, nor was I voted for by any eligible voter. Furthermore, I received no delegates in the primary process, and have lost by a wide margin in the popular vote. I consider this last statement to be my mandate, solid proof of the American people Demanding my leadership. Lastly, I am not even eligible to be president, a presidential candidate, or even a fundraiser for a presidential candidate.

However, by me being in dead last for the entirety of the presidential race, it is clear to me that I have already won the race.

I would first off like to thank the American people. Mostly for voting for a different type of candidate in one of our countries darkest hours. I am a candidate that was able to somehow convince people I am a different type of politician. I do not come from an affluent background, I did not attend an Ivy league Law school, I did not marry into the political game. Professionally I have never been named influential, successful or even prompt. I have never served as an elected official in public office, and therefore I will be effective and disinterested .

Lastly since I did not raise any money for my highly victorious, and legal, campaign I was not purchased by individuals, organizations, corporations, causes, or middle eastern countries. Saudi Arabia did not give me 10 million dollars. United Arab Emirates did not give me 10 million dollars. The Azerbaijani Royal Family did not give me 10 million dollars. I have not received any money from land developers, lawyers, law firms, nor have I received from any of their family members or children.

In short, because of on an overwhelming electorate opinion, and the highest voter turn out in decades it is clear that I have lost the race by a wide margin. Therefore I will see you at the West Front of the U.S. Capital in January at around noon..